It’s more than just an ‘O’ that separates ‘women’ from ‘we men’

For all those perverts alias friends who consider me a womanizer, better skip this one. I am not a feminist either. To be honest, I don’t believe in equality based on gender, rather I hold faith in parity by the virtue of being a human being & the associated basic rights. My definition of being fair is not to judge people by putting them on to the same pedestal but to recognize & appreciate the diversity that has been bestowed upon us by nature. Since the time I can remember, I’ve been an ardent admirer of the ‘fairer sex’. This admiration stems out from a lot of reasons further consolidated by a host of experiences.

This post is dedicated to all the women who’ve been a part of my life at some stage or the other, immaterial of the duration or nature of association, influencing the course of my journey in some way or the other, thus responsible for who I am today.

To begin with, nature has gifted them with the most precious of capacities, to bear their off springs & thus contribute almost entirely to the process of reproduction of our species. However the boon is accompanied by a great deal of responsibility as well as tremendous pain & suffering, both physical & mental, that she must endure. Not to mention the extremely annoying & disturbing menstruation cycle that must be dealt with for the greater part of their lives. We men can’t even begin to imagine our lives with all these as an integral part of it. Yet most of us would bask in our glory of being stronger & claim to be playing a more vital role in the procreation of our kind. Strength reminds me, it’s a scientifically proven fact that very few men would come out alive of a labour room considering the infinite amount of pain involved during child birth. Now what I wish to emphasize here is the need of recognition of this special attribute that only our female population has & to stop pushing them on academic & professional fields at times when they voluntarily wish to take it easy. Comparisons in such arenas are not just unfair but also tend to destabilize the basic natural processes by creating excessive pressure on either of the two sexes.

Only a woman’s mind can match the complexity of her body. Ages have passed by & hoards of philosophers passed away, none could fathom the intricacies of it. It can provide the vital potential for running a successful nation & at the same time can be lethal enough to tear down empires. It offers the most creative of ideas for our society & yet can design numerous convoluted webs of deceit & surprise. The most beautiful attribute of a woman’s brain is that it cannot be replicated or simulated. And once again we consider the latter a weakness since the calculative & rational nature of our brains, also the characteristic feature of a computer, is highly over rated. This further emphasizes thorough comprehension of every trait of a human’s mind so that it can be utilized to the utmost.

The law of nature is inequality. It has endowed us with different set of attributes that is the basis of any relationship that prevails on the planet. To consider one of these traits superior, possessed by one particular group of humans, is unfair. To push the other group to possess similar characteristics is even more tragic. Recognizing & nurturing the nuances is the only way of making this world more “equitable”.  

Cheers to life :-)

Glasses are forever

As my professor’s eyes lit up while emphasizing on the perpetual nature of chemical composition of glasses, something struck me. It’s been a while since I’ve reconciled with the fact that change is the only constant. However, there is a pang of regret as I’m driven away from my sense of utopia, the deepest desire to find an omnipotent example of constancy. ‘Glass’ was just about to rekindle my hopes before I realized how brittle they are!

Relationships undoubtedly are the most intricate network of emotions & actions designed by man. They vary not just in purpose but also in nature of the subjects. Ranging from child parent relationship to a romantic one, from a student teacher rapport to friendship, they are the very matrix that embeds us & our journey of life. What used to perturb me was the delicate & brittle character of such associations. They are often established at the cost of a lot of efforts & understanding that goes into fathoming the subjects. Then is it really worth all the pain if it has to come down like a pack of cards on the slightest of gusts?

 All this while, I was confusing myself by focussing too hard on the subjects rather than the string that binds them together. “Relationships, like glasses are constant in substance but very dynamic in form.” A friend correctly pointed out the similarity between the two. The former is pretty much indifferent towards any change in the subjects & derives its meaning from the emotions & actions that are involved in nurturing & sustaining it. But does this equip us with an excuse to run away from our partners in a relationship on the mildest of conflicts?

I personally feel that standing up to challenges faced in a relationship is the only way of making any sense out of it. Escapism will slowly but definitely erode away our faith in a sense of commitment that is required in any relationship. It will drain us of those emotions that drive such associations. As evident as ever, they are a delicate balance of a lot of things, however this balance is pretty much the essence of our lives. When we fail in a relationship, we either made the mistake of branding a momentary sense of bonhomie or were unable to adapt to the ever changing nature of the human desire & attitude. But parting ways provides us with invaluable lessons & prepares us to once again dive deep into realms of the most satisfying & fulfilling of activities, relationship building. This relentless nature of a man’s pursuit of happiness certainly provides some solace to my heart.

Cheers to life :-)

 

 

English is NOT our mother tongue.

The widespread prevalence of queen’s language as a medium of education in India is undoubtedly one of the biggest factors which helped in putting us on the global map. It not only made it easier to absorb the vast amount of scientific findings originating mostly in the west, predominantly published in English language, but also to communicate & to deliver our own ideas across the globe. Besides, we were, as if, tailor made for the kind of jobs that required skills & intellect of a variable range but knowledge of English as the quintessential feature.

But in this period of over 60 years when we made our presence felt throughout the world as not just a land of snake charmers & elephants, I believe we started taking pride in something which is essentially foreign. There is a difference & a very wide one in adopting something foreign & adopting it over something native & holding the former at a higher pedestal. As I mentioned earlier, learning English was inevitable for most of us who aspired to go forward in life. But at the same time, it has to be realized & constantly remembered that there was nothing wrong with our mother tongue in the first place. It’s just that a wooden log always aligns itself to the water current to surge ahead with least resistance.

The reason I am writing in English is pretty straightforward. I am not adept enough to write in my mother tongue which is Hindi. And for most of you reading this, whatever your native language be, you’d agree to the fact that the expression of our thoughts is generally English because we simply fail to phrase ourselves this flawlessly in our mother tongue. Not being an extremist, I do not abhor the so called invasion of our culture by a foreign language or advocate a linguistic movement to venerate & glorify our birth language. But I certainly condemn a disregard for any of our own languages or for the people who prefer to use them.    

There does exist a sense of superiority in a large part of our English medium educated society since familiarity with English has come to mean a higher standing in our culture, both intellectually & economically. But this display of arrogance is the worst example we could possibly put up to show how hollow our education & moral development has actually been. Taking nothing away from the queen’s language, Hindi, Tamil, Sanskrit, Bengali & many more such Indian languages are far richer in terms of vocabulary & contain such beautiful expressions that are unparalleled in any western medium of communication. It is nothing but our misfortune that we not just fail to learn what is ours but also choose to scoff at it.

I really wish that each one of us would recognize the fact that language is nothing but

a medium of expression. Weighing them against each other is our disdain towards the very channel that lets us display who we really are. An unbiased perspective towards them would not only enrich our lives but also preserve what is slowly fading away, our faith in ourselves. 

Cheers to life :-)

The ‘I’ business.

The biggest misconception in my life, for a very large part of it, was that I considered egoism evil.  Somewhere deep down inside I was fully aware of being an egoist myself but the admission wasn’t easy considering the amount of weight this largely hypocritical society attaches to the label. The turning point in my perception I’d say was Ayn Rand’s very popular quote “To say 'I love you' one must first be able to say the 'I'”. It struck me so hard that I was forced to read some of her works which for the first time illuminated my vision towards ‘individualism’. I’ve met at least 100 people with 100 different interpretations of the term but I’d rather be talking about mine.

My journey began by a self evaluation procedure. I tried to figure out the beneficiaries of my everyday actions & the ones that I commit seldom. The answer was often more than a single individual but the common element in all these sets was the ‘I’. Then I went a step ahead & tried to judge those actions which are generally considered benevolent like giving alms, helping your parents & friends etc. Once again I could uncover the ulterior beneficiary & it was me again! These actions were either done with a sense of satisfaction attained by helping those who were in need or a belief that God would be pleased & would reward us in return. In either of the two cases, we kept our own interests in mind at all times. This I believe was the most startling of revelations & provided so much peace & solace to my conscience that my expectations from others lessened to a great degree. Also while performing such actions, I felt relieved of the baggage that one often carries by patronizing thyself of doing great deeds for humanity. Charity, they say, begins at home. I say a part of it always comes home.

Now, another perplexing question which often arises is how do we tell the difference between right & wrong. My opinion is that every action which benefits you as an individual & doesn’t harm any other creation of God is righteous. In this manner you satiate yourself & thus add to the total contentment of all mankind. This, I believe, is one of the best ways of helping humanity (aspiring beauty queens, please pay attention J)

In my last article, I’d written how God can be found in mere mortals. I’d extend it to say that the height of individualism is attained when God can be found within oneself. If our body & mind are strong enough to appreciate & follow the simple truth that our soul is a perennial source of all emotions that we’d ever need, we’ll never be at the mercy of another mortal. Kindly do not interpret the last sentence as an appeal towards being anti-social. It just wishes to draw your attention towards the latent power of self realization & contemplation.

Cheers to life J            

 

tujh mein rab dikhta hai...

I have been brought up in a family where my maternal & paternal views on worshipping god have often clashed. One is in favour of traditional idol worship & related customs where as the other advocates doing away with all that brings a priest to prominence & performing religious rites by oneself which is also called Arya Samaaj. I have enshrined within me elements from both sides. I am well versed with Hanuman Chalisa & also know how to perform a yagya. But my religious prowess is not what I wish to highlight here. 

 

Through years of contemplation on such matters that often unite & more often divide this world, I'd like to share my perception of it all. I'd any day humbly surrender to all those people who would stake claim of being a master of religious texts & would be honoured to force upon their ideas on the entire humanity. After all they’ve solved all our problems, haven’t they? ;-)

 

We mortals often fail, & when we do, we need ‘external’ support. This support is at times tangible in form of cash & kind from friends etc. but most of the times it is the divine intervention that we seek. We hope that a supernatural power would mend our broken spirit, set things right for us, and lift us when we are down in the dumps. This is the reason most people go to a place of worship in times of turmoil than those of relative peace & prosperity. What we fail to realize is that the agent restoring our strength of character is nothing but our own conscience. How often do we see such recuperating effects after talking to a close friend! But we hesitate to call the latter ‘God’.

 

My definition of God is that source of inspiration which corrects our path & lifts our spirits to follow what we believe is right. The idols that we see in temples might be of people who once existed on this planet & are still remembered for deeds that were intensely righteous & displayed courage & character in every bit of it. The inspiration that we draw from such acts is what the purpose of worship really is. If these people are God, then I would extend this status to so many people in my life who time & again have guided me through troublesome patches & never left me alone, who made me feel even happier through daily life. As you are reading this, honestly recount all the names that have just flashed across your mind & extend a token of your gratitude. It could simply be a missed call, but trust me, you are only doing yourself a favour by even strengthening your faith in God. J

Cheers

 

 

 

 

 

A reluctant start...

I have always had reservations about writing publically. It's not an essay that our teacher made us write & subsequently read out aloud in front of the class. It's an expression, very often involving deeply personal opinions & insights. We are not provided routine topics to write upon. Rather, we express ourselves on matters that are close to our heart & are worth inscribing. 

As a matter of fact, I've never been comfortable doing so. Until recently I claimed to be quite an extrovert till I realized that I was on a one way track. I was open to people's ideas, problems, discussions & allmost everything they had to share. I'd even express myself when needed. However the most surprising fact to me was, that except one or two people, there's hardly anyone who seems to know the real me. Now the interesting part here is that my friends would often correctly guess my reaction to a certain situation but they'd lack the understanding as to why I behaved like that. I came to the conclusion that I need to make myself more transparent. Not by revealing the incidents of my life, but by sharing thoughts on numerous trivial matters around us...the sundries. I might be wrong in identifying my purpose here. It is, I know for sure, more selfish in nature as is everything else I undertake. 

 This is the commencement of a journey towards self realization more than anything else. It's reluctant in nature because I'd still not agree to this endeavour in principle but there is a certain force that drives me to do so. I hope it will help me realize the person I am & to come across those who matter in my life a shade brighter & a touch lighter.

Cheers